Too Much Blue

a short story about eternity, cake and more. First draft, I plan to do some more tinkering

Too Much Blue
a short story about eternity and more.

Zuzu, a Jr. Assistant at Universal Creations, UC for short, sighed, and checked her clipboard.
She stared at the unfamiliar name next on her list and read the description.

OVERVIEW

Name: Earth
Filed Under: Mistakes/Failed Experiments/Humor

Age:
4.5 billion (categorized as the Terrible Teen years by the Gerontology Department (Dan) *because the department is comprised only of one guy who is named Dan.

Composition:
71% water
17% rock

Zuzu, paused, 17% rock seems quite low. Who needs so much water?


Population:
Over 8 million (the Census Department (CD) stopped bothering to count after that).

Intelligence: below average.
Potential: slim.
Mood: Insufferable.
Status: Could use a change

Fun Facts:
1) Earth was visited by explorers from the planet Woot Woot by mistake. They took a wrong turn, thought the planet was a refill station and crashed in an area called Roswell.

\2) Against surprising odds, a brilliant musical group called The Beatles were formed there. Most believe this was the planets sole purpose for its existence or a fluke, but The Creator has not confirmed nor denied either. *citation needed.

3) Was named after The Creator's favorite pet dog, Earthfina.

Expected Future: None
Last Reviewed: Never

Zuzu, skimmed the rest, and found nothing else of note.

She sighed again and pushed the clouds apart to take a closer look below. As expected, nothing stood out, but then after a moment of reflection she decided to try and take a closer look at this forgotten blue planet beneath her. Another cloud encroached, obscuring her view.

On her control Panel a vast array of knobs and switches stretched out before her. She found the appropriate knob for weather and dialed it to the Mostly Clear (MC) setting, causing all the clouds to dissipate. Still not being able to see much she leaned forward and squinted but no luck.

Zuzu reached into her official UC assigned tool box and pulled out her binoculars and tried again. From her vantage point, the entire planet seemed to be made of water. She checked the clipboard again.

71% water stood out. "What was The Creator thinking, Who needs that much water?" She pondered. Then she again checked the status. Could use a change it said.

Zuzu put down the clipboard and stretched out her arms and yawned. It had been one of those days, planet after planet, reviewing one after the other. They were all so perfect, until she came across this one. What a mess.

Just then, at that moment she remembered her supervisor Todd's suggestion. His voice popped into her mind, "take initiative," he had said.

Zuzu checked the her watch, which had no hands, just a blank face. Almost time for lunch, she said. She was hungry and looking forward to the all you can angel food cake that UC offered to there employees for free. One of the few perks this place offered.

Her back hurt from sitting too long in her official yet uncomfortable chair that she was assigned. I really want that cake. Zuzu sighed again as her mind began to wander.

Maybe at lunch that cute new guy from the Design Department (DD) will be there. What was his name, Cosmo? Could be, either way she would have a chance to stretch and eat.

DD seemed so much more interesting then Reviews. She reflected on her career at UC. She had been a Jr. Assistant for...well an eternity of course. It wasn't really a career it was more like a job and a not very interesting one at that. Not like Cosmo who got to color stuff in, so much more cool, she thought.

Deciding to regain her focus, she reached for the binoculars and took another look. Water and more water. Too much blue. Boring.

Take initiative popped into her head again, only this time louder.

She remembered her last performance review by her boss Todd. They both sat at a conference table situated in the familiar white void. Everything was white and in a void here.

Todd stared at his clipboard in silence, repeatably tapping his quill against its surface, as if their was no rush because well, after all, their was no rush.

Todd sighed, he was ready, he gathered his thoughts and sighed again before saying, "Zoey, your performance has been...well, how should I put this...um...fine. Yes, that's it fine."

"Um, it's Zuzu sir."

"Are you sure it's Zuzu?"

Yes, sir."

Todd checked his clipboard again, "ah, yes so it is," then muttered, "I could have sworn it was Zoey."

Todd cleared his throat and declared, "Zuzu, your performance has been fine" and checked the appropriate boxes on the clipboard. Todd was satisfied he found the right ones.After yet another long pause,Todd seemed to snap back into the conversation, "Um, any questions for me before you go?"

Zuzu didn't have any questions. None of it really mattered but since she felt expected to say something, she did. "Um, any suggestions on how I could improve my performance sir?"

Todd thought about it for awhile until, "Are you using the official UC tool box that was assigned upon hiring?"

"Yes sir," She replied weakly.

"How about the binoculars?"

Yes, sir," She was defeated..

How about the knobs, are you using all the knobs? We have a lot of knobs, dials, and switches."

"Yes, sir, I use them quite often."

Todd seemed to be at a loss. "Are you eating enough cake? It's free you know."

"Yes sir, I eat a lot of cake."

"Good, good," Todd paused, which unlike time does not. He continued, "Well of course there is no rush, the universe isn't going anywhere.

"Zuzu sir."

More silence. Todd was lost, after all "none of this matters." he thought to himself.

Todd wasn't good at his job and knew it. Done with this conversation he finally concluded, "Maybe you should...should...hmm...maybe you should take some initiative." Oh that sounded good he thought.

And that was Zuzu's last performance review.


Snapping out of it and focused back on her control panel, she studied the overly blue insignificant planet before her. Suddenly the lunch bell tolled, and Zuzu quickly stood up from her desk. Time for cake, she thought but something made her hesitate. She glanced at the clipboard again.

17% Rock
Too much blue.
Were both stuck in her brain.

Zuzu sat back down. Scanned her control panel and found the dial for "Rocks." It had three settings: A Few, A lot, and Surprise Me. She turned the dial to Surprise Me. Pleased with herself for taking some initiative, she got up for her lunch.

She was feeling good as she made her way to the lunch room. Her mind wandered to cake, and Cosmo. Her day was looking up.


At Zuzu's next review, an eternity later, at the same conference table in the same white void Todd stared at his clipboard, tap, tap, tap again, went the quill.

Todd finally looked up and said, "Fine, you are doing fine."and under her name checked the appropriate boxes.

The two sat in silence for an unknown amount of time, "Do you have any questions before you go Zoey?"

Zuzu thought about it for sometime before she said, "No, sir, I'm fine."

And they both thought simultaneously, "good." because after all, none of this really does matter.


An eternity later, Zuzu sat at the same control panel, in the same white void and checked her clipboard and scanned it to see what was next, and was surprised to see Earth.

OVERVIEW

Name: Earth
Filed Under: Most Improved.

Age:
5.5 billion (categorized as Awesome by the Gerontology Department (Dan)

Composition:
17% water
71% rock

Population:
Over 8 million (the Census Department (CD) stopped bothering to count after that).

Intelligence: below average (but making the best of it).
Potential: Thriving
Mood: Positive

Status: Universally renowned for it's great rock climbing. A top tourist attraction in the universe.

Zuzu laughed to herself, it truly doesn't matter.

She looked at the vast control panel before her, rubbed her hands together and thought, I feel like...unicorns!

She found the appropriate Unicorn dial and turned it to "Max," then checked all the appropriate boxes on the clipboard before moving on to the next world.

"Hmm, now how about some dragons," She thought.