Set Yourself Free

A letter to a man trapped in a loveless marriage.

My spirit feels the torment in yours.
You long to set yourself free,
To experience the love - the passion -
You've sacrificed for the benefit of others.

The conflict weighs heavy your heart,
Feeling great obligation to your family,
While the cold emptiness of your marriage
Drags your sweet countenance down.

People do what they want to do.
If she wanted to love you, she would.
She would examine her own issue -
Do everything in her power to keep you.

Instead, she's left you lonely and feeling insufficient.
Like you don't deserve affection or passion.
She has made you the problem and herself the victim,
As she knows you will cower to keep the peace.

You've endured decades of frigidity
To provide stability for your larger family
At the expense of your heart and mind.
You are a truly good and honorable man.

You can still be a rock for them.
You can still be present in their lives.
What they see in your marriage is not healthy.
You can show them what healthy is.

You can show them what maturity does
When things just don't work anymore.
You can be a better influence on them
When you are happy and healthy.

They see the struggle, the distance,
The coldness, and the tension.
They need to see that this isn't
What love looks like.

I wish she would set you free,
But she needs to protect her lifestyle.
She needs to keep up appearances.
But you need to be loved and valued.

You've been stuck in the cycle.
Chance after chance,
Hoping she'll change.
She has not. She will not.

She is unhappy, too,
Both of you in a prison of
Religious and social norms,
Both miserable and empty.

Set yourself free to be
The father, uncle, role model
You want to be for them.
You are strong and wise.

Speak to them from your heart.
Let them know you love them
And that sometimes things just change,
But you will always be there, no matter what.

They love you and they need you.
But they need a healthy and happy you.
And you need to spend the last decades of your life
Giving and receiving love, honor, and affection.

I know it's hard to unravel decades of life.
I cannot fathom how hard it actually is.
But know that a chapter must close
For a new one to open.

Unlock those prison doors for yourself
And you'll set her free, too.